Insecurity attracts insecurity I guess. Is this still revelant? LeeLFC Xper 6. These guys love it when a woman fully depend on them and revolve their world around them so they know for sure that she won't easily leave them. I imagine he'd be a bit codependent by nature if this is a pattern? Some guys fancy themselves a hero role and feel protective and masculine while with troubled women. Same goes for women who seek out guys with issues, brings out the nurturer.
That scenario will fail both of them emotionally. If you take a look at our ancestors a woman finding a strong man that is able to produce healthy children and provide for them is the woman's main concern when finding a mate. A man's main concern was not being tricked into raising another man's child. Strong women don't need to worry about destroying the relationship so they are more likely to risk damaging the relationship by cheating.
A woman that is so desperate she can't survive without a man is far less likely to risk losing the relationship by cheating. As a result men and women end up attracted to exact opposites.
In today's world we are suppose to pretend this isn't true, and that any man that doesn't want a strong woman is actually just weak or whatever other insult they want to throw at him. This however changes nothing. This is why even today men marry down, and women marry up. Successful women and unsuccessful men have a much harder time finding someone to marry.
The men that typically like strong women, are almost always guys that don't want to get married. Men that really want to get married look for a woman that needs him.
The desire isn't to fix the woman, it is just about being attracted to a certain type of woman. This makes me mad slowdyingflower. Why do any of the things you deal with or ANY of this make you "damaged" or "broken"? It pisses me off when people see our struggles and think of them as weaknesses. You are strong and courageous and amazing and the hell with anyone who tries to make you feel or think otherwise.
Maybe sweet but definitely honest. Sign Up Now! Related Questions. Show All. Why is it funny for a girl to react emotionally when cheated on?
Aleksandra Kovac. Why do we develop intense, unrelenting feelings for people who'll do us no good? We want to save them We become attracted to these waifs, these tormentors, these vessels of violence because we want to save them.
We want to make them human We want to show them that they deserve to be loved because they're exquisite. We like a challenge When we have a project, it gives us something to do. We crave the excitement Every time they let you down, your heart breaks all over again. Passion is a dangerous thing. And passion directed at the damaged person is lethal.
In the end, the reality of my infatuation with damaged women is this: I'm damaged, too. I, like so many, carry my own level of damage and there's comfort to be found in the arms and lives of women who know what I know and who have seen and felt the same things as I have. They say misery loves company and that certainly applies to all of us damaged wrecks, all looking for a service station to make us whole again.
In addition to broadcasting, Hashim Hathaway also writes for a number of publications and guests on talk radio in a number of markets. Sign in. Join YourTango Experts. Hashim R. Subscribe to our newsletter. Hey You! Want more of YourTango's best articles , seriously addictive horoscopes and top expert advice?
Go for it. One woman I spoke to mentioned to me that she found this amazing guy, and they get along great together, but they both recently got out of relationships and are extremely guarded. I told the woman to be open and honest with the guy, which includes telling him how she feels and being clear on what she wants. She said she was going to just that, and I hope she does. You just gotta take the leap, and go for it.
Live life by the day, forgetting the past. By John Picciuto.
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